Emotional Regulation for Psychological Resilience

Emotions play a significant role in shaping our daily lives—they not only affect how we feel but also influence the choices we make, the way we think, and how we connect with others. In today’s fast-paced world, where society and the economy are constantly changing, being able to regulate emotions is more important than ever. It’s no longer just about mental health—it’s also crucial for success in both personal and professional life (Gross, 2015). The ability to manage emotions effectively has been linked to greater personal satisfaction, improved relationships, and better performance at work, making it an essential skill in the modern world.

Misconceptions About Emotional Regulation

A common misconception about emotional regulation is the belief that it involves suppressing or ignoring emotions. However, true emotional resilience isn’t about shutting down our feelings, but about understanding and managing them in a healthy way. It involves recognizing emotions as valuable signals that provide insight into our needs, values, and perceptions. When we regulate emotions properly, we can gain greater clarity and control over our responses, which helps us navigate challenging situations more effectively.

While many studies have looked at how emotions affect the brain and behaviour, there’s still a lot we don’t know about how people actually deal with their emotions. For example, do people see their emotions as something to fight against, or do they view them as helpful clues about their inner world? Is pushing emotions aside really a way to stay mentally strong, or does it harm our well-being in the long run? Answering these questions could help us better understand emotional regulation’s role in mental health.

Difference Between Emotional Regulation and Emotional Suppression

There’s often confusion between emotional regulation and emotional suppression. Emotional suppression means deliberately trying to block or hide emotions, which can backfire and cause more harm than good. Studies have shown that suppressing emotions can lead to problems like increased stress, anxiety, and even physical symptoms (Gross & Levenson, 1997; Richards et al., 2003). Although we may think we’re in control by pushing emotions down, they often resurface as anxiety or negative thoughts. Over time, this pattern can cause long-term psychological harm by creating a disconnect between what we feel and how we express it.

In contrast, emotional regulation involves actively working with our emotions. Instead of ignoring or pushing them away, we acknowledge and process them, which helps us respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively (Aldao et al., 2010). The main difference between suppression and regulation is not the intensity of the emotions, but the way we handle them—suppression is passive and avoids the emotions, while regulation is active and involves dealing with them in a constructive way. When we use emotional regulation, we work to create healthier responses that align with our values, which ultimately support our long-term emotional well-being.

The Role of Culture in Emotional Regulation/Suppression

It’s also important to consider how culture influences emotional suppression. In some cultures, especially those that value restraint and stoicism, suppressing emotions is seen as a sign of strength. This view can be harmful, as it can promote unhealthy ways of dealing with emotions and contribute to mental health problems (Matsumoto et al., 2008). For instance, in some workplaces, the belief that expressing emotions shows weakness can lead to stress and reduce psychological safety, where employees don’t feel comfortable sharing their feelings (Edmondson, 2019). This highlights the need to not only teach emotional regulation but also change how we think about emotional expression in society. Cultural shifts can create more open environments where emotions are not seen as vulnerabilities but as part of being human.

Techniques for Strengthening Emotional Regulation

Cognitive reappraisal—changing the way we think about an emotion to reduce its impact—has been one of the most widely studied techniques for emotional regulation. However, recent research suggests that a more holistic approach is necessary. Studies show that emotional regulation involves a combination of awareness, thought processes, and adaptability (Ochsner & Gross, 2005). The best results come when individuals can incorporate a range of strategies into their emotional toolkit which allows them to respond flexibly to different situations.

1. The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique

The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, often used in trauma therapy, is an effective  method for managing strong emotions. This technique shifts focus from distressing feelings to physical sensations which can calm the brain’s stress response. The steps are:

• 5 things you can see
• 4 things you can touch
• 3 things you can hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste

This method is particularly helpful in situations where simply changing our thoughts (like cognitive reappraisal) isn’t enough. By focusing on sensory details, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment, which helps us regain control over our emotions. 

It’s important to note that the sequence doesn’t have to be followed in a strict order—different situations may require different approaches. For example, in a work setting, you may not be able to smell something, but focusing on what you can see or touch might be more practical. This approach helps to create a break in the emotional intensity, allowing the person to calm down and reset.

2. Journaling as Cognitive Externalization

Journaling is a well-known method for self-reflection, but it’s also a way to “externalize” thoughts and emotions. Writing down our feelings can help create distance from them, making it easier to think clearly and manage our emotions (Pennebaker & Smyth, 2016). Studies have shown that structured journaling, where you reflect on your emotions in a focused way, can reduce anxiety and depression (Smyth et al., 2008). Writing about emotions helps clarify them, reducing their intensity and allowing individuals to process them more effectively. A helpful way to approach journaling might include:

• Identifying what triggered the emotion
• Writing down your emotional response without judgment
• Reframing the experience by changing the way you think about it
• Thinking of steps you can take to address the situation

This approach allows you to take control of your emotional experience and gives you a sense of agency. However, the key to success is regular, thoughtful journaling—not just writing down your feelings but also reflecting on them deeply. It’s about using writing as a tool to work through emotions rather than just venting.

3. The Role of Somatic Regulation

According to American psychologist Stephen Porges (2011) the body plays a crucial role in emotional regulation; practices like controlled breathing, muscle relaxation, and mindful movement help manage stress by regulating the autonomic nervous system. One example is box breathing, where you inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and hold again for four seconds. This practice helps calm the body and mind, improving cognitive flexibility and emotional balance (Sullivan, 2021).

Unlike cognitive reappraisal, which requires mental effort, somatic regulation works directly with the body’s physical response to stress. This makes it a valuable tool for managing emotions, especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed. When our body is calm, our mind can also settle, creating a space for more rational thinking and emotional clarity.

Multidimensional Approach to Emotional Regulation

Most models of emotional regulation have focused on mental strategies like reframing, but true emotional resilience involves a more holistic approach that integrates mind, body, and environment. In today’s world, where much of our emotional experience is shaped by digital media, it’s essential to understand how social media impacts emotional regulation. Research shows that constant exposure to idealized online personas can increase stress and make it harder to regulate our emotions (Fardouly et al., 2015).

Resilience isn’t about avoiding emotional distress—it’s about skillfully navigating emotional ups and downs with adaptability. Suppressing emotions, which is often mistaken for resilience, ultimately harms our mental health. On the other hand, true emotional regulation helps us develop greater flexibility, insight, and long-term stability. By adopting emotional regulation practices, individuals can not only cope with challenges more effectively, but also foster a deeper sense of well-being and growth.

By combining cognitive, somatic, and sensory-based techniques, individuals can move beyond merely coping with emotions and instead develop the skills to master them. As we continue to evolve our understanding of mental health, it’s important to recognize the complexity of emotional experiences and consider them from both a scientific and a cultural perspective. Only then can we build a society that doesn’t fear emotions, but embraces their power to drive personal growth and resilience.

References

Aldao, A., Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Schweizer, S. (2010). Emotion-regulation strategies across psychopathology: A meta-analytic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(2), 217-237. 

Edmondson, A. (2019). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. Wiley.

Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). Social comparisons on social media: The impact of Facebook on young women’s body image concerns and mood. Body Image, 13, 38-45. 

Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1-26. 

Gross, J. J., & Levenson, R. W. (1997). Hiding feelings: The acute effects of inhibiting negative and positive emotion. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 106(1), 95-103. 

Matsumoto, D., Yoo, S. H., & Nakagawa, S. (2008). Culture, emotion regulation, and adjustment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94(6), 925-937. 

Ochsner, K. N., & Gross, J. J. (2005). The cognitive control of emotion. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 9(5), 242-249. 

Pennebaker, J. W., & Smyth, J. M. (2016). Opening up by writing it down: How expressive writing improves health and eases emotional pain. Guilford Press.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Richards, J. M., Butler, E. A., & Gross, J. J. (2003). Emotion regulation in romantic relationships: The cognitive consequences of concealing feelings. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 20(5), 599-620. 

Smyth, J. M., Hockemeyer, J. R., Heron, K. E., Wonderlich, S. A., & Pennebaker, J. W. (2008). Prevalence, type, disclosure, and severity of adverse life events in college students. Journal of American College Health, 57(1), 69-76. https://doi.org/10.3200/JACH.57.1.69-76

Sullivan, M. (2021). Yoga and polyvagal theory: Effects and applications for well-being. In S. Telles & R. K. Gupta (Eds.), Handbook of research on evidence-based perspectives on the psychophysiology of yoga and its applications (pp. 391–409).